Evan Rosier

How sweet change can taste on one's tongue...

( [Bellatrix] )

( [Stephen] )

( [Antonin] )

[Twins]
I imagine you've noticed that our guest has arrived. Please do all you can to make her feel welcome and to show her around the grounds.

And for god's sake, Liam...be polite. It isn't Mr. Mulciber you'll face if you can't keep a civil tongue.

I imagine she'll have some things she'll like to plan for the three of you, and I'll leave you to those.

Oh...Her name is Ayanna.

The dog Maya, I think he's settled on calling her, has destroyed every pair of shoes I owned. And what a happy coincidence that someone put their own on the top shelf of the closet. I literally had to dig an old pair of running shoes out of a box to have something to wear for rounds the next day. I suppose I'll have to go shopping. That's something I never always look forward to doing.

Perhaps we'll make a day of it, all four five of us.

Why do I suddenly feel completely domesticated?

Well...if the man can train a human as well as he can a dog, I never really stood a chance.

( [Antonin] )

( [Twins] )

( [Stephen] )

[Hexed privately, very privately, to Liam and Izzy]
I'm sure you're both aware that Mr.Mulciber's birthday is upcoming. I've made arrangements that day for some certain surprises, and I will need help from the both of you in making this as smooth as possible. It's likely that while he will suspect the reason for sending the three of you out of the house, it shouldn't put a damper on plans. I've arranged for your transportation into the city, however I cannot elaborate further for precautionary purposes. Just know that you'll spend the morning in the city and will be brought back by the evening with all is in place.

I'm grateful for your cooperation.

( [Stephen] )

How many times must we ask ourselves "why", before we realize our own failings?

It is the beginning of the end.

( [Private to self, Antonin may view] )

If I were fair to myself, I'd live as I want to live. I would do as I want to do, and regret nothing. There was a time in my life that I could...There was a time that I was myself. Somewhere I lost sight of it. Somewhere I let someone take that away.

There are things I should will set straight.

[Stephen]
I need you. Remind me who I once was. I have something for you. Let's stir up some old memories. Send the twins to their rooms for the night.

...I feel like I've been mauled by a rabid animal.

[Antonin]
Have any salves to help heal jagged wounds?

[Stephen]
I'll be out for a few hours...I've left a bell for you to bother the elves if you like. I'll bring dinner up when I return.

( Owl to Regulus Black )

( Stephen )

It's been over a decade since I've opened the manor. No one was left to upkeep its needs. It's like a hollow shell now, stripped of its pride and decadence. I could gladly watch it rot where it stands, but once again it has offered a curious use. When there are too many memories, it is necessary to drown them out. It's better this way.

I hope the hired men will be trustworthy. There's nothing there worth anything to me, but I know my guest's particular tastes, and everything should be in some sort of order by his arrival...For their sakes.

[Stephen]
Everything is ready. There are no elves left to help you with your things, so you'll have to make do on your own. I'll be there when you arrive to help with the crates.

You remember where the bedroom is.
[/end]

[Regulus]
I know you've had plans to renovate your uncle's estate, but in the meantime my flat is yours for the keep. I've no need for it any longer, and it will be good for Pansy to stay in one place, rather than be moved about again. I'm including the paperwork to be signed over. Do what you will with it. Everything is paid for.

I hope you're finding everything you've always looked for.
[/end]

[Antonin]
How do you continue when you feel you've got nothing left to fight for?

How did you keep from giving up?
[/end]

Hopeless is something I've not felt in a very long time...

[Hexed private to close aquaintances]
Supposedly there are more things in life that are nonrefundable than I previously assumed. One weekend down the drain in more ways than one. More for the good...Who can really trust muggle technology with their lives.

I'm going away for some time. Those with the importance to reach me would already know how. Those who don't...are too busy anywho.

[Hexed Private]
Always there are complications. The most minute detail can be twisted into a gnarled tangle of frustration and doubt and everything I've never known myself to be capable of experiencing...until him now. Why do I care enough to make these efforts? Why did I ever start caring.

...And why can't I stop?

It's nice to have company again. It's nice to feel like a human, and to smile and to laugh. Those were such foreign things. Before him.

If I say it, will it make it conceivable?

I'm utterly doomed.
[/end]

[Regulus]
Can you get away from work a while? A weekend...I should ask, would you like to take a trip?
[/end]

[Antonin]
I've not heard from you in days...Is all well? I've worried about the state of this...reunion.
[/end]

OOC: Not sure if Evan really has friends, so the gist of who can view are Sirius, Regulus, Antonin, and most of the Order members EXCLUDING Peter.

[Hexed private to close friends (?) only]
I'm not sure I've ever felt so incapacitated. It's entirely annoying to sit prone like this when the entire house seems near destruction. I don't think Regulus can cook, but I'm fairly sure I smell something burning and that isn't encouraging. Meanwhile, it bloody well hurts to breathe. What good is it to fear magic when it's the metal door that nearly takes you down?

It's too quiet for comfort...

[Regulus]
Are you cooking??
[/end]

Work is an interesting thing these days...I feel as though I'm going through the motions...But I don't really care for it anymore. It is dull, and I'm craving more than what it offers. What happened to the thrill? Why does it take so much now to find those feelings? So much seems unimportant. It's all old. It's all overdone.

I think it is time for a transition.

I'm not sure how this will end, but I know I'm not sticking around in this rut to find out what it will do to me.

[Private to self]
I have too much blood on my hands to ever be clean enough for him. I don't know how to correct the mistakes I've made. When he looks at me, will he see the death? I've been willing to put my life down for him...What fate is this? What power does he have over me that I'd risk everything...and still feel so beneath him...

I have to make this work. It makes no sense to me, but I know I have to do something to make it work.

[/end]

[Antonin]
What do you say we paint the town like old times? I need the distraction.
[/Antonin]

[Regulus]
Can I see you?
Anywhere. Anytime.
I just...I really need to talk to you.
[/Regulus]

( [Private to self] )

I'm never braving Diagon Alley in the middle of this damned shopping season again. Lesson learned.
( [Private to Antonin] )

I am sorely disappointed in some of the recent things I've heard whispered and gossiped. There seems to be a great weakness in our chain, and it simply cannot be tolerated. When, I ask my brothers, did it become acceptable that we jeopardize the security of our purpose by allowing such poor supervision of our young generation? Do we not realize that in their sniveling, snot nosed, arrogance always in pursuit of a flashy scene, we could very well be drawing in dangerous attention? Perhaps it is poor breeding...Some lines just ought to be pruned before reproducing.

Something must be done.

[Antonin]

Don't let your wandering linger too long. I have plans, and I need you here to better convince you this will be most amusing. I look forward to word of your return.

I've never had to remotely care for anyone but myself...Family, that's a joke. My survival and my motives have been the only factor I've ever considered. And here I am, opening up this immense vulnerability in myself. And for what? For who, he asks me. My friend, you really are most interested in my comings and goings. How on earth will you react when you realize what I'm up to?

And for who...Yes, that was the question. I think it is better put as for what. Happiness. It is curious what happiness will make you do. Moreso when it is for the benefit of another. And what am I doing? I hardly know. I'm taking chances to do the most obsurd things. For him.

He didn't say yes...But he didn't say no. I can't even sort through what this feels like. It is maddening. It is completely unlike me to wait for anything. And yet, I find no other purpose but to do just that.

I hope you'll consider what I've offered...

He thinks this is a test...His games are too easy to play. His tasks are so simply pulled apart...torn...shredded bit by bit. Even this holds little satisfaction anymore. Where is the thrill I once knew? What has happened that all that has been left for me would be this aching...painful boredom? These routines are so...bland. Do I even detect a hint of, oh what is the word for it, guilt? No. It is only a great displeasure that it was so damn easy. I've become a bit lazy...This really is a bother to clean up.

I'm sorry I made such a mess, friend...But you can have what's left.